Vietnam War Interview Forum

Guest

There was constant fear for those of us out in the jungles and rice paddies, no place was safe day or night.  We didn't talk above a whisper, we didn't allow ourselves to snore at night or even roll over if we would russle the dry leaves.  Sleep in combat was really staying half awake to instantly respond to any threat.  

Life was not precious or sacred. or fair in the war.  It could be wasted easily for no reason at all.  There was no time to grieve those we lost, the war didn't stop so we couldn't either.  I walked point for nearly ten months which meant about every third day I would lead the column.  The odds of becoming a casualty were about one out of every six missions.  I was no John Wayne, it terrified me to be up front.  Finally, I couldn't force myself to go out into the jungle anymore and spent my last two months back in the fire base we were operating out of.

The second event that greatly impacted me was coming home to a country I no longer recognized.  After a year of horror, nobody seemed to care about the war unless they were protesting or had family involved.  Life went on as usual.  People were scurrying after the American Dream which seemed somehow empty and shallow to me now.  

In Vietnam, I had learned that life was about survival and that required everyone to work together, to trust one another with our lives, suffering together taught us to support one another and then we learned self sacrifice from some.  None of these values were required to achieve success at home.  It was every man for himself and stepping on someone else to get ahead was OK, even valued in some places.  

Normal life had been swept away in the chaos of war, and after retuning home, what was normal to everyone else seemed self centered and selfish to me.  It was very confusing.  I was angry, synical, bitter, depressed and isolated myself because no one understood or even wanted to know what happened to us in Vietnam.

It took thirty years to see that life in not an event or even a series of events, it's a process that changes us for the better or worst.  The worst that mankind can do to one another drove me to find what was true, good and meaningful in life.  Life is bigger than we can see, touch, taste, smell, hear or understand.  We are stuck in time but God is not.  He sees us already at the end of the process we're going through.  A close relationship is all He wants from us.  I hope you find it sooner and with less pain than I did.

>THANKS ALOT FOR EVERYONE THAT RESPONDS