QUESTION - Did you think that the reasons for fighting the war were right?
I didn't agree with the war before, during or after I served there, but that wasn't a factor in my participation in it. These were the facts I dealt with. Number one was it was against the law to avoid the draft. Number two was I was taught that it was everyone's duty to serve their country when requested. Number three was that America didn't loose wars so at least I would be on the winning side. Number four was that if I had dodged the draft I would have lost all respect for myself. It was better to face the reality of war than to live knowing that I ran away. I didn't want to be a "live coward" or a "dead hero", I just wanted to live through it and be better for having done my duty.

QUESTION - Did you think that the United States was going to win the war in Vietnam?
Yes, I thought the US was going to win. I grew up in the shadow of WWII and Korea and we had won those wars against some tall odds. We hadn't lost a war yet. Why wouldn't we win this one?

QUESTION - Have you been to the Vietnam Vet's Memorial yet?
Not yet. I'll go some day. I'm a little afraid of it because it makes even the strongest men cry. They say that's ok there. It wasn't ok in Vietnam. One didn't want to appear weak. I'd like to be totally alone when I go to see it. I don't think that's possible there.

QUESTION - What was your concept of war before your involvement?
My concept of war before Vietnam was very naive. I knew that men died. I watched all the war movies. I knew that the servicemen were trained to handle every possible problem they could face and were equipped with the best weapons made. And I knew that the men who lived through it were proud of what they did. I found out that the ways that men died in Vietnam was nothing like the movies. I learned that I had a lot more to learn about fighting a war when I was in it. I discovered that the enemy didn't need all the training and first class weapons and equipment to kick our butts. And when I lived through it I found that I couldn't even be proud of what I did because nobody wanted to hear it. Insted of being looked up to, we were looked on as "baby killers" and "murderers". Some vets were spit on and some were shunned by their peers. I was told I was stupid because I didn't run to Canada when I got my draft notice. I got the feeling that the draft dodgers felt superior to us vets for avoiding their duty. My answer to the problem was to try to blend in and not let anyone know where I was for the last couple of years.

QUESTION - Did your involvement in the war change your political or social values?
My experience in Vietnam didn't change my political values. I didn't really have any to begin with, but I couldn't look at religon the same way afterwards. The God that I was taught about couldn't have allowed anything like that war to happen. I was taught that Hell was somewhere you went after you died if you were bad, and there I was in it and I hadn't even done anything bad enough to deserve it. I saw men die while they were in the process of asking God to save them. I want to believe in God but now I require proof. My social values are intact, except for trust. That one was strained a bit.

QUESTION - Have you talked about your experience with someone that was against the war?
I had a CO (conscientious objector) friend that I met after I got home and he had some very interesting thoughts about the war. He had questions for the politicians of both sides to answer. My friend objected to the war, but he went when he was drafted and served in Vietnam and recieved an honorable discharge. I respect, but don't always agree with, what he believes is correct. But listening to him has helped me understand and except what happened.

QUESTION - What did you expect when you returned from Vietnam?
I expected more from my return home than it turned out to be. I was insulted by strangers when they saw the uniform that I had just earned the right to wear. The looks of admiration that the WWII soldiers got when they returned home were, in our case, replaced with looks of disgust, distrust, distain, disbelieve or indifference. My family welcomed me home and they listened the parts of the experience that I thought they could handle. My oldest brother had been to Vietnam before me so I knew he could understand. But my oldest friends didn't want to hear about it and they didn't treat me the same as before. I could mix right back in as long as I didn't bring everyone down with stories about Vietnam. A few of them bragged about how they got out of it. They thought that I was scary and I thought they were stupid. But a group of college friends from before I left were happy to see me and helped me adjust back to civilian mode.

QUESTION - Do you have any regrets about your particapation in the war?
I have only one regret about being part of the Vietnam experience, killing. But that was part of the job and I did what was required to the best of my ability. The enemy had the same job and I did my job better than them. The choice to kill is easier to make when your own life is at stake. All the training I'd been though stressed the point that it was the enemies duty to die for his country, not for me to die for mine. Wars have been fought for thousands of years and in all cases, men die. I have no regrets that I lived through it.

QUESTION - Would I do it again?
Hell no! I'm too old and slow. But would I do it if it were the first time? All things being equal, I would. I still believe it's everyones duty to serve their country in some way. My oportunity to serve just happened to be while there was a war on. For me to think differently would cheapen the values that formed my sense honor and duty.

QUESTION - How do people react to you now when they learn that you are a Vietnam vet?
30 years after I served in Vietnam, people now just seem mildly indifferent when they find out that I am a Vietnam vet. The only time the subject comes up is here on the internet or if someone sees the certificate of combat service from the 9th Infantry that I have hanging in my office at work. The most intrest I've had about my time in Vietnam has come from the stories I have on the Vietnam Veterians Home Page at grunt.space.swri.edu/tjhain.htm. I wrote about what I remember and tried not to make it into a novel. I wrote them not to express an opinion but only to present the facts from my perspective of the war.

QUESTION - Was it hard to leave your friends and family when you went to Vietnam?
I was not married when I went to vietnam and I broke up with the girl that I was going with before I left because I didn't want to leave any loose ends at home. I figured that if I was to live through it I didn't need any distractions. I said goodby to everyone thinking that I was going to die in Vietnam. It was simpler for me that way.

QUESTION - Did you see the Bob Hope show?
I saw the Bob Hope show in Dong Tam on the north bank of the river Song My Tho (pronounced song me toe). Ann Margret was the sex intrest on that tour. I was stationed aboard the Navy troop ship Neuases on the river and I had to catch a ride on a landing craft to get to the show. The wounded guys sat in the first few rows and the infantry (that's me) sat in the next 15 or 20 rows behind them. I got there early and got a seat in the 10th row, center. I had a great seat. He circled the field at 100 feet in the chopper he came in and landed behind the stage. When he walked out on the stage, everyone in the place cheered for what seemed like and hour. It was the same show that he had done for 30 years but it's a memory I won't forget.

QUESTION - Do you know what the "thousand yard stare" is?
I've heard the term "thousand yard stare" before. It refers to a state of shock that is a combination of fatigue and disbelief. Most of the guys had a form of that. It would be impossible to go through a war and not be hit with massive amounts of fatigue and disbelief. Guys had to deal with it as best they could. I've heard that "the stare" scared people. I think it was necessary. It came from experience.

QUESTION - What effects has the war had on you?
The effects that the war had on me were both good and bad. I grew up a lot while I was there. I learned to survive adversity and I learned respect. But they were hard leasons to learn. The things that happened to me were no different for the rest of the guys I was with in Vietnam. Most of the bad stuff that stayed with me happened after I got back, starting in the airport in San Francisco while I was waiting for a plane home. People back then thought it was ok to blame the soldiers for the war and we were treated badly. I was called a murder by someone in the airport. Some of the other guys were spit on and cursed at. No one welcomed us back. That hurt more than the stuff we went through in Vietnam.

QUESTION - Do you think that the protester were right about us getting out of Vietnam?
I don't think we should have been in Vietnam. The reasons for being there were wrong, but the fact remains that it is every person's duty to serve when their country calls and those of us that did our duty should not have been blamed for doing it. The actions of the people back home were directly connected to the problems that we faced in Vietnam. The more protests here, the more the enemy dumped on us there. The war was lost here at home and not over there. I feel that the people that protested the war here, should take the responsibility for their actions, just as the veterans have taken the blame for all these years.

--------------------------------------------------

This is my gallery URL

grunt.space.swri.edu/tjhain.htm
 or
www.vietvet.org/tjhain.htm

This is my E-mail address:      haveco1@aol.com